Barbie, the movie.

Yeah, we felt in the trend. The Barbie trend. 

When I asked for a column/section where to post some of my thoughts on the web, I never thought that talking about Barbie was going to be one of the themes, or the first. 

Yet, here we are.

After a friend reached out and asked if we could organize our agendas and fix a date to watch the movie, I jumped in.
Why? Not because of Barbie, well, part of, but more because I wanted to meet my friends. Having a spot during their "busy working mommies agendas" its almost a miracle. So I signed in to meet them, it didn't matter if it was for Barbie or Oppenheimer. 

But when we got to the cinema, I almost didn't make it because of work, I was glad I was there with them. It was great to see all this people wearing pink and happy to be there.
I felt nostalgic, and remembered how much I loved playing with Barbie, not Kelly nor Ken. Just Barbie.
Dressing her up, in a certain way, had to do with my love for fashion, and also the fact that she could become whatever she wanted, was inspiring.

I didn't expect anything from the movie and to be honest, even though I loved tons of details, I wouldn't watch it again. I think they would be able to say the same in a 15 min speech.

What I want to enhance, where I almost applaud, is in the monologue that Gloria, interpreted by America Ferrera, says everything we think, feel or do as a woman.

And its true being a woman is exhausting.

We are never enough. We are never in our perfect weight or with the body that we would love to have, and in a certain way its true that we fight everyday in the mirror to love ourselves more, and to accept ourselves, but at the same time we are taking care of and trying to improve in every possible way, physically, emotionally or even trying to reach a new goal in work.
Going to the gym, signing for botox, facial yoga, kegels, pilates, green juice, therapy, mani and pedi, cooking, healthy eating, cleaning, working, raising kids, being a good friend, a good daughter, a perfect mom, member of the school board or trying to participate, feeding the pet, watering the plants, being a good lover, taking care of your +1, checking your emails and achieving your professional goals. (I even got tired by writing this)

Its exhausting, we believe we have to do everything, and at the same time, and we can't.
If you talk too much your are a know it all, if you don't talk, you lack of opinion.
If you are too independent, men feel intimidated because you have a voice or a goal and most of them, were not raised to bond with that kind of woman. 

If you are a mom that wants to be just a mom, nothing else, because you want and you can (or whatever is the reason) you are useless or not grateful because you are not using your skills or your talents for good.
 God forgive you if you had a professional career and pressed pause or stop for motherhood.
Talking about a friend who decided to step out her career, I heard someone said: Why will she do that? after all the money her dad invested in her and paying her a good career? 

And I wonder, as women, Do we have room for making decision without being severely judged? Even by our same "sisterhood"? 

If you date too many people, you are a whore, if you don't date anyone or simply don't settle with what just crossed the door, you are too picky. If you don't want kids, you don't know what you are saying or missing.
 
So, at the end of the day we are tired because we feel everybody is constantly judging us, and even women. We are always juggling our decisions, what to say or to do, to make it right in every single way.

But no, we can't make everything right and we can't leave everyone happy.
Because in every decision we make, somebody is going to be offended or will interpret us in a way that we don't want (and probably will blame our hormones for it).

Is there any chance we can be free and be whatever we want? We were raised to be always looking good, our hair tied, not laughing too loud, to smile but not too much, always trying to say what's proper, and act like it. But things that bring us the biggest joy in life, are the one where we don't have to be proper, when we can laugh loudly, when we kiss passionately, when we give firm and warm hugs, when we are chilling in bed after a long week. And the list goes on. At the end, we feel joy when we live from our heart and choose what our heart wants, and that won't always be tidy, because our heart was made too to feel, grow and be shown, and act from there.

So, thank you Barbie and Greta for opening the debate and showing what we really feel about being a woman, because learning and repeating ourselves that we are enough its almost every women mantra.

We are enough and we are trying our best too. Sometimes we will succeed, sometimes we won't, but at least, we are trying. And we will keep trying.

We are more than enough, you are more than enough.

x

 

Dan


Before loving someone, love yourself first and be yourself. The rest will follow.
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Here’s Gloria’s full monologue from Barbie:

It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.

You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can’t ask for money because that’s crass. You have to be a boss, but you can’t be mean. You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas. You’re supposed to love being a mother, but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman, but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men’s bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you’re accused of complaining.

You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you’re supposed to be a part of the sisterhood. But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.

I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don’t even know.

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